Stuck in the Moment

 I try my best to stay positive about my disability. However, you can easily find evidence within these blog posts, that it is not always easy to do so. I suppose everybody has their good and bad days, but sometimes for me there is a buildup when the bad days seem to come in quick succession, or the good days don't last long enough. Today was especially painstaking, because workers were consistently late, when I was waiting to go to the bathroom. It is in moments like these, that my disability becomes blatantly obvious, and no amount of positive thinking can deter it. I feel a giant surge of bitterness, that I cannot respond to simple and natural needs on my own, and I'm constantly relying on someone else for the most basic of things. When things like these happen, but it is so easy to forget that I am much more than the disability I have. I live with the condition, and the condition should not define me.

Sometimes it's hard to find yourself within a condition, because there are so many societal pressures and obvious flaws. It is so easy to say, "if I didn't have a disability, things would be different." Yes, they would be a great deal different, but I doubt the difference would be for the better. As hard as living with a disability can prove to be, my disability has given me many things that I don't think I would have otherwise. My disability has given me a great sense of gratitude for those who take care of me well. I have always had an overwhelming desire to succeed and conquer all obstacles, even if the odds were against me. My disability has shed some light on the importance of advocacy, but sometimes it makes me forget myself because I get too wrapped up in helping others and forget what I need. However, I need to remember that I have greatly succeeded, and conquered many obstacles, and met so many decent people along the way. I know 100% that today's slump will not be my last, but I thought I would take the time to say that today although I was stuck in a moment, I would like to thank those people who make a great deal of my moments positive ones. Your patience and understanding is always appreciated, although sometimes it might not be properly shown. Surrounded by people like you, I feel like I'm standing 10 feet tall.

Karli