Wheelchair Ediquette

Over the many years of being in a wheelchair, I have realized that  people have habit when around them, or for that matter habits that effects the users. I know that they might not realize they do, but this blog is meant to make people aware of the habits.

I find, that sometimes when I'm in a room people gravitate towards my wheelchair like it is an unidentified flying object. They brush past it, almost as if they wish to identify the object I understand that 300 pounds of metal is logically kind of odd, but I need it, and it is the equivalent to my car and legs all at once. Similarly, when people come to be me or introduce themselves, they tend to grab onto my handles. If I know you very well, that is not a problem because I like being close to friends, but otherwise it is an invasion of the personal bubble. A huge pet peeve of mine, is the fact that when I go to press an automatic button, five people walk ahead of me. I press that button for a reason, and by the time the people walk in front of me, my arm gets hit by the door. I've also noticed that friends who meet in public walk around in highschool clicke formation, leaving me little room to get by. Not a problem, until I politely ask them to move, and they stare at me like I'm E.T. Sometimes I'll go to use an elevator, and it will be crowded with able-bodied people who really don't need it. I understand if it's a a mall or apartment building, but there was an instance in college when I was trying to get to class. The elevator was full of people and I tried to get in; the doors closed on my chair and the elevator echoed with laughter. I will never forget the anger and humiliation I felt that day, and I still will never understand the draw of spending 3 second in a metal box when people have a working set of legs. As I said before, I realize that many aren't aware of these habits, and I hope this helps. 

Karli

Running On Empty

My life quite literally runs on a battery. If my chair is not charged, it's like having my legs give out. Though I've had no problems with my chair battery of late, I've had problems with the battery of life. School is always a bit of an adjustment because its the point where everyone realizes that, like it or not, a giant chunk of life will be spent on assignments and classes. While I very much enjoy being back at Kings with friends and classmates, I already feel like the battery of life is draining. You may be reading this and thinking: "it's only the 2nd week of school, chill out!" Trust me when I say that school is not the cause. It's actually one of the places that I know what to expect from everyday. The cause of the battery depletion is the company that boasts that they make independent living easier. Let me clarify that the majority of my assistants are devoted to their work and reliable. However, the management is absolutely awful. Every year around this time, in spite of sending my school schedule, I fear them not sending someone at my requested a times. There has also been a major problem with being understaffed, which means that I may have a time and an assistant scheduled, but as anyone is liable to quit at anytime, it means nothing.

Being short staffed, the management deals with us much like a jigsaw puzzle, cutting times anywhere they see fit. Though I understand that sometimes this must be done, it seems to be happening more often than not. One might think that a time cut is not a huge deal, but it's the difference between a rushed job and a thorough one. Another common occurrence is the sending of helpers you've never met before. While I could no doubt handle them in the day, they are commonly sent at the times when I'm least alert, morning and bedtime. The most irritating thing about all this, is that the scedulers and the government alike, have no inkling of what it's like to live with a disability. So cutting bookings and funding is as easy as pressing the tempting red button. You may be wondering, "how do you get yourself out of this mess?" I am on the wait list for the supportive housing, which essentially has help available anytime I need it. Unfortunately you have to wait many years for an opening, and so far I've waited 4 In a perfect world support companies would be run by the people facing the disabilities, as they would have a better insight and understanding of what is needed. With so much uncertainty, it's no woner my battery is running on empty...

Karli

Dear 15 Year Old Me

Remember when you craved a slice of popularity? Not worth it. Remember when you constantly wondered who was really nice, and who was just faking it to your face? That question isn't as frequent, because you found true friends. Remember when you thought something was wrong with you because you were nothing like your mother? It's a good thing you are uniquely yourself. Remember when you despised your sister, and thought your little brother was annoying as hell? Age and maturity has changed that. Remember when you were sad that dad had turned from cool to a strict ass? The same strict ass put you through 5 years of school. Remember when you felt guilty for asking your stepmom for help or anything else because you weren't hers by blood? You've learned that family isn't defined by blood, and the advice she's given is worth taking. Remember when mom called your musical taste "jump off a bridge music"? You haven't jumped, and the music got you through your toughest times. Remember how you always liked the "mysterious" guys? That lasted until grade 12, and then altered slightly to include university educated in front of it. You faced much heartbreak, but you've gotten better at turning infatuation  into solid friendships. You used to be so afraid of humiliation in front of  a guy, but you've  got this friend Trevor, who seems to be around at your most awkward times, you've now stopped caring. Remember when your main concern was helping others? You still do, but now are learning to help yourself too… Remember when you admired your older cousins simply because age made them appear wiser? Now you've given them reason to admire you. Remember when you were content at just going to college? You're in 4th year university. Remember everyone who said you can't do it at any point in your life? You can, you did, you will…