The Size of Shame

In the past several times that I've been shopping, I usually visited my favourite stores without much question. I get very excited when my favourite brands decide to start carrying plus sizes. However, this recently changed as I was shopping in Maurice's, and I discovered that there was a dress in the smaller sizes, and they had the same style in plus size. At first I was eager to buy the dress in my corresponding size, but the sales representative informed me of a $12 difference. And if I really like something, I buy it without noticing the price difference, but I got to thinking that this difference meant something greater. For the greater parts of my life, I have felt very self-conscious about my looks and my body, because quite frankly I was not "blessed" with my typical family genes. When I lived with my mom, I was constantly put on diets, for "health" purposes. I have always known that I was going to be somewhat of a bigger person, because I do not get as much exercise as the average person. The thing I have a problem with today, is that in the last 5 to 10 years, I have gone from being a large to a 3X in some cases. In spite of my obvious lack of exercise, I do not physically believe my body has altered that drastically. In the quite evident reduction of sizing, and the increase in clothing prices, there lies shaming. If you don't want to pay the extra $10 for a bigger size, then you better get yourself to a gym, in order to fit in a "normal" size. I agree that it is important to take care of yourself. I do believe the concept of "big is beautiful" to a certain extent, but not to  the extent of a person outright neglecting their health. The main concern for companies, it seems, is not the notion of health, or the promotion of higher self-esteem, but rather the promotion of bigger profits.

The Regis Article: Finding A Hero

Growing up with a disability was hard for me to do. Having idols like the Spice Girls and Barbie, only lasted so long because eventually I took the difference of working legs, and a slim figure to heart. Even when my grandma found me a Barbie with a wheelchair as an accessory, I knew that Barbie would never truly have to face the ups and downs that come with a disability.

I knew that other people faced similar situations as myself. However, they were all men. Although when I was younger I was a huge fan of Terry Fox, and Rick Hansen, I also knew that none of the men ever faced anything remotely close to what I was dealing with. Sure, they had obstacles as I did, and they took them head on as I have learned to do today, but they never faced theirs as a young girl.

I wish that when I was younger, I had the guidance, or at least knew of someone who was in a similar situation as I was. Growing up the only thing I felt I could truly relate to was quite literally the Transformers series. There was nothing on the TV that ever told me a different body was beautiful. No commercials with even a man or a woman living life in a wheelchair. TV presented people in wheelchairs as the mad scientist figure, like the scientist in Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas, or a headmaster in a school for super-powered mutants, like Charles Xavier in the X-Men series. Although I enjoyed both, they still paint a disability as encompassing abnormality, and as a whole, something feared and undesirable.

With the birth of reality television, I believe we have reached a new extreme. Instead of highlighting the undesirable aspects of an issue, I believe that reality TV over glamorizes simple things. Don't get me wrong, it is good that disabilities and other issues are being showcased on TV, but when it comes to reality TV I feel it is the wrong way to approach them. For example, there is this show on television called Push Girls, which documents supermodels that have suffered “freak accidents that have left them paralyzed. While I do have some sympathy, for what they are newly facing, it is not a fair judgment of what living with a disability entails. For one thing, they will never have to fully deal with body image, because they are still left with their model bodies they had before their accidents. They will never face the problem of overpriced necessities, because their TV show and modeling careers cover a substantially larger amount of the cost in comparison to the average person living with a disability. They will likely never face the problem of their needs not being met because of their State’s inability to access or provide the materials that may meet such needs.

Because of this recent change in the representation of disability, I fear for those who now grow up dealing with the same thing that I once did. Instead of having next to no one to look up to, youth of today will now have many different people, and with that many different perceptions of the way their life should be lived. While that could be positive to some degree, it could also have a negative effect. The media today is so much more influential than when I grew up, and because the media world is expanding, I believe that there is a big risk for the youth of today to lose sight of themselves. Being constantly bombarded from every angle with ideas of what is normal, could potentially cause an identity crisis between who we are and who the media says we should be.

Having a disability myself always raised my curiosity as to how other people of the world managed in the same situation as I was, and how the knowledge of disability, had changed over the course of history. The truth is, with the invention of reality TV, the true, reality of disability will never be fully understood, and fewer people will raise questions such as, "do other countries have the necessary resources to provide for people living with disability. They may never know to question policies such as China's one child policy, which not only eliminates the female population, but also the disabled. Disability is more than triumph over "tragedy".

If there's anything that I have learned from growing up with a disability, it is the fact that you can live without a hero. Surround yourself with people in similar situations of yourself, but do not let their actions wholeheartedly influence your own. Surround yourself with others in different situations, and share many perspectives, but do not become overly dependent on the affirmation of others. Celebrate what you've become on your own accord. Be thankful for the family and friends that have supported you throughout life's experiences. If you seek beauty, look deeper than what is reflected in the mirror and in the media. If you seek a hero, look no further than within yourself.

 

The Benefit of Woman's Studies

Last year, I had a terrible experience in a women's studies course that I took, because the teacher was convinced that everything was a man's fault. Though we continue to, and have lived in a patriarchal society for a long time, it is no longer as simple as that.  This year the experience was made up for a great deal, when I took The History of Sexuality, taught by Monda Halpern. Though we did discuss women's oppression throughout history, we discussed a lot more as well. To put all that was discussed in one blog, would take me too long, but what I found most inspiring about the course was that no matter what issue we touched upon, there was always a suggestion as to how we can improve  upon these issues in the future, and a discussion as to how all of these issues were affecting present-day. I was made aware of many different situations such as the struggles of the transgender community, and the controversial topic of FGM. The class taught me how to analyze the past and put it towards a better future. I am no longer afraid to analyze myself, to figure out the things I want and need to become a successful and empowered woman. Although he touched upon many issues in the course, there are still some issues I found to do with my own life, and I look forward to the adventure of taking what I have learned and putting it to use on my own to help myself reach a better understanding of who I am. I have heard in the past that people fear taking women's studies courses, because they are afraid the teacher will be a sort of Femi-Nazi, but if there is anything that I learned in this course, it is that education is one of the strongest combatants against ignorance.

Karli

Keeping the Faith

If my time at Kings has taught me anything,  it is to be open-minded to all aspects of life. Throughout my life, I have met friends with many different religious backgrounds. Some of my most interesting conversations have comes from discussing beliefs, and what started a certain belief. I may not believe in a certain aspect a friend is sharing with me, but I would never outright say that my belief is somehow more valid than theirs. Today I agreed to do a survey, that somebody asked me to do at the Kings crosswalk. I assumed it was for a thesis, or a collection of data for a final project, so I agreed. I was the questions begin, they asked about my religious beliefs, and I answered truthfully that I wasn't really sure where I stood and a lot of matters. They seemed accepting of this answer, until they handed me a phamplet, which contained Bible verses in which they said I would be saved. They said they would pray for me, because I still had to realize that God was the only way. If I continued to live the misguided life, I would surely go to hell. I respect those who have the meaning in their lives that helps them positively move forward, but I do not consider the experience I had today positive. It's okay to not know what you believe, but it is not okay to put one belief above all others. If I did that, I would miss out on the most deep conversations, with some of my devout Christian friends. I would not care to wish my Muslim friends happy Ramadan and happy Eid. Even just by attending Kings, I have discovered that the world has wonderful people in it, and the world should be open to many different perspectives. Regardless of what we do or do not follow, we are all only here for a short time, so if anything, we should have faith in each other.

Karli

My friend Matthew, who I have some of my most deep and rewarding conversations with!