Keeping the Memories Alive

16 years ago I lost my Nanny Petula Steen to a brain tumour. She was the most strong and beautiful woman I've ever known. I can remember being so excited to be watched by her when my parents were at school or work. I would crawl around her house, following her as she did house chores, and used the washroom. She never got mad about my following her anywhere, she just smiled, picked me up, and commented on what a silly little girl I was. She would usually read an array of my favourite books when I was over. I can recall one in particular about a boy who had a dog he loved very much, but the dog got old and sick and died. The book was about the boy coping with the death of his beloved pet, realizing that though he missed his friend, he was no longer suffering. And sure enough, as soon as the lesson was learned, the boy found a puppy that looked like his old dog and took him home to love. The last page of the book was a picture of the little boy walking the puppy, and the older dog up in the sky, as if watching over him.

I had no idea that my Nanny would ever face a similar thing as to what the book told (I know it's not the same, but that's how a 5 year old connects the dots), when I found out she was sick I thought the doctors would make her better. I only remember snippets of her sickness, like seeing her wear a wig, and wondering why she had to. She was so brave, and so strong and even though she was sick, my memory can't recall her as being anything else. I remember going to see her in the hospital and giving her a teddy that I had to keep her company until she got well. We named him Burp Brownie-Brown, and I still have him today. Though I only remember snippets of things, and only got 5 years with my Nanny, I feel like I got enough love to last a lifetime.

In the beginning, I remember that it was really hard to explain why I only had one grandma. It was almost like I expected her to pop out of a corner and suddenly be well. As the years passed I went on doing things that I thought would make her proud. As I began to graduate and achieve milestones, I would take private moments to grieve, knowing that when I got my diplomas, I wouldn't get to hug her, or see the look of pride on her face. For this reason, graduating frond Western will be one of the hardest things I ever do.

Over the past two years at Kings University College, I have raised over $800 in money towards the cancer society! I do this because I want to make sure my Nanny's memory stays alive. One day I hope that nobody has to ever face the loss of a grandma or loved one! My grandma was the strongest person I will ever know, and with each relay I run or roll, I hope to keep her memory alive and well!

Karli