Kill it with Kindness

Today was an interesting day. Because I don't have my half course anymore, I was originally content hiding out in the corner and playing video games. Thankfully I ran into my friend Maryam, and she convinced me to join her at a mental health awareness presentation There we learned about the services offered in our community as well as Kings itself. Though every presentation had informative content, something about the Kings presentation stuck with me. The presenters said that the media had trained us to focus on the negatives of the world. In the news the negatives always outweigh the positive and because we are always subjected to that our minds do the same thing. He advised that we find our balance, no matter how stressful or busy life gets, there is always time to do something positive for yourself or others. So today I did just that. There has been the crazy trend of "neknominations" going around the Internet, where people are dared to drink insane amount of alcohol which has led to four separate deaths due to alcohol poisoning. I personally do not think that any dinner ever is worth risking your life, so I killed it with kindness. I posted on Saturday about how the custodial staff at Kings have done a lot to help me out. So today I returned the favour and bought the 12 donuts to share amongst the staff. To see their faces with sudden surprise was really good, and it made me feel better about all the stresses I've been facing in the last little while. I think that I could get used to paying it forward for myself or others, and hopefully remain positive. It certainly helped having my friend Matt who helped record it, because I couldn't have asked for a better person to share the moment with. I encourage all of my friends, and readers to start doing the same, a little positivity goes a long way.

Karli

I'm Right Here…

Today was definitely a Monday. I was looking forward to dinner time, and was not surprised by not being informed that there was a new worker in training today. What I was surprised by though is the fact that the new worker could see that I was capable of directing my own care, and still proceeded to ask my regular worker what to do and how I liked things.  I know sometimes new workers get nervous and then check with the ones that know me really well, but the thing is I don't just get this behavior from workers. I get it from teachers over the years, inexperienced or not, and even as late in the game as university. They've been too afraid to approach we were to ask what I'm capable of, so they shifted questions onto my EA's or notetakers, often when I'm in the room and have already answered the question for myself. Sometimes it's like I'm speaking a foreign language or something. I think what that bothers me most about situations like these, is the fact that I am able to speak, and that I know somebody out there is less vocal the I am, and they are not able to voice their discomfort or their anger at not being able to communicate and be understood. If there's been anything I've learned from having a disability myself, as well as working with others with various different disabilities, it's that no matter what disability you have, there is always a way to communicate. It just might not be the typical way you'd expect. 

Karli

Going the Extra Mile

The custodial staff at Kings University College, go above and beyond their duties of cleaning the floors and making sure Kings is in tiptop shape. I don't believe enough credit is given to them for all that extra work that they actually do. Aside from hearing snippets of conversation about how the cleaning staff try to keep the residence clean and in order for the girls in Wemple, they have helped me a great deal. Every morning when I get off the bus to come to school, at least one of them is there to open the door for me or in the cafeteria and ready and willing to say good morning and wish me a good day. And though I don't know them all by name, they all seem to know mine, and smile and make jokes about my speeding! They all seem to know that winter is a rough season for me, and they inquire about how the sidewalks are, and what they can do to keep me from getting stuck in the snow. Last Tuesday my wheel is broken, and I asked the staff if they had tools to at least help me tighten it up. I didn't know if I was allowed to ask that of them since they had so much other work to do, but they came out with the right set of tools, and helped without question. They are so kindhearted that they even express concern on a day that I forget to wear my mittens, or a hat. If I ever need help being escorted to class because of too much snowfall, their boss has given them the okay to just assist me, or anyone else in a chair without having to ask. They warn me if the elevator is broken, and how long it will take to fix; they spend time. fixing broken handicapped doors to make sure I can get in. This is all stuff I noticed that they do for me and people in a similar situation as I, but Iimagine what they do for all of the students as a whole. So much of their work goes unnoticed, and it upsets me to know that. The real beauty in Kings is the people who work tirelessly behind the scenes to make sure we are at our best.

Coming Up Short

It's been a long time since I've written anything, and for that I apologize…

On Monday I spent my days on main campus, with a class in the social science building from 1230 to 230. It's not much better than when the class was located in the university college building. Aside from the building being an absolute maze, or the obstacles of any sort imaginable, I find that sitting in a wheelchair means even more obstacles getting around The most frustrating thing I find about the social science building as well as the UCC, is that the elevator doors close too quickly. If I am surrounded by a crowd of people, I get several reactions: friendly passerby, will help me avoid the elevator door crashing into my wheelchair, whereas in the other case of person will just look on my struggle to merely enter the elevator, and look at you with me with the eyes of pity, or otherwise as a source of enjoyment. When it comes to the latter case, I can assure you that it wasn't my intention to be asource of amusement, I am just trying to get to class! When I finally manage to make it into the elevator, unscathed or not, I find that I am too short to reach the buttons. It takes me a good 5 to 10 minutes just to angle myself in the right position to reach the butt sometimes, and that's frustrating because even with my tilt feature I can barely reach it. In the ideal world, there would be a stick in every elevator which a person of short stature could reach to help them and pushing the buttons, but I am unsure of who to ask. At Western and Kings alike, I have trouble also locating the wheelchair accessible buttons. Sometimes they are in a really convenient place, easy to find and easy to reach, but other times they are not. I believe, that I should not have to look around every single corner trying to guess where it is located, and I wish that more sense was behind where they are placed. I know I am lucky that Western is accessible at all, but sometimes I feel like they missed the mark. It would be nice not to be reminded at least once a week, that I am not as tall as I feel…

Karli

Wheelchair Ediquette

Over the many years of being in a wheelchair, I have realized that  people have habit when around them, or for that matter habits that effects the users. I know that they might not realize they do, but this blog is meant to make people aware of the habits.

I find, that sometimes when I'm in a room people gravitate towards my wheelchair like it is an unidentified flying object. They brush past it, almost as if they wish to identify the object I understand that 300 pounds of metal is logically kind of odd, but I need it, and it is the equivalent to my car and legs all at once. Similarly, when people come to be me or introduce themselves, they tend to grab onto my handles. If I know you very well, that is not a problem because I like being close to friends, but otherwise it is an invasion of the personal bubble. A huge pet peeve of mine, is the fact that when I go to press an automatic button, five people walk ahead of me. I press that button for a reason, and by the time the people walk in front of me, my arm gets hit by the door. I've also noticed that friends who meet in public walk around in highschool clicke formation, leaving me little room to get by. Not a problem, until I politely ask them to move, and they stare at me like I'm E.T. Sometimes I'll go to use an elevator, and it will be crowded with able-bodied people who really don't need it. I understand if it's a a mall or apartment building, but there was an instance in college when I was trying to get to class. The elevator was full of people and I tried to get in; the doors closed on my chair and the elevator echoed with laughter. I will never forget the anger and humiliation I felt that day, and I still will never understand the draw of spending 3 second in a metal box when people have a working set of legs. As I said before, I realize that many aren't aware of these habits, and I hope this helps. 

Karli

Running On Empty

My life quite literally runs on a battery. If my chair is not charged, it's like having my legs give out. Though I've had no problems with my chair battery of late, I've had problems with the battery of life. School is always a bit of an adjustment because its the point where everyone realizes that, like it or not, a giant chunk of life will be spent on assignments and classes. While I very much enjoy being back at Kings with friends and classmates, I already feel like the battery of life is draining. You may be reading this and thinking: "it's only the 2nd week of school, chill out!" Trust me when I say that school is not the cause. It's actually one of the places that I know what to expect from everyday. The cause of the battery depletion is the company that boasts that they make independent living easier. Let me clarify that the majority of my assistants are devoted to their work and reliable. However, the management is absolutely awful. Every year around this time, in spite of sending my school schedule, I fear them not sending someone at my requested a times. There has also been a major problem with being understaffed, which means that I may have a time and an assistant scheduled, but as anyone is liable to quit at anytime, it means nothing.

Being short staffed, the management deals with us much like a jigsaw puzzle, cutting times anywhere they see fit. Though I understand that sometimes this must be done, it seems to be happening more often than not. One might think that a time cut is not a huge deal, but it's the difference between a rushed job and a thorough one. Another common occurrence is the sending of helpers you've never met before. While I could no doubt handle them in the day, they are commonly sent at the times when I'm least alert, morning and bedtime. The most irritating thing about all this, is that the scedulers and the government alike, have no inkling of what it's like to live with a disability. So cutting bookings and funding is as easy as pressing the tempting red button. You may be wondering, "how do you get yourself out of this mess?" I am on the wait list for the supportive housing, which essentially has help available anytime I need it. Unfortunately you have to wait many years for an opening, and so far I've waited 4 In a perfect world support companies would be run by the people facing the disabilities, as they would have a better insight and understanding of what is needed. With so much uncertainty, it's no woner my battery is running on empty...

Karli

Dear 15 Year Old Me

Remember when you craved a slice of popularity? Not worth it. Remember when you constantly wondered who was really nice, and who was just faking it to your face? That question isn't as frequent, because you found true friends. Remember when you thought something was wrong with you because you were nothing like your mother? It's a good thing you are uniquely yourself. Remember when you despised your sister, and thought your little brother was annoying as hell? Age and maturity has changed that. Remember when you were sad that dad had turned from cool to a strict ass? The same strict ass put you through 5 years of school. Remember when you felt guilty for asking your stepmom for help or anything else because you weren't hers by blood? You've learned that family isn't defined by blood, and the advice she's given is worth taking. Remember when mom called your musical taste "jump off a bridge music"? You haven't jumped, and the music got you through your toughest times. Remember how you always liked the "mysterious" guys? That lasted until grade 12, and then altered slightly to include university educated in front of it. You faced much heartbreak, but you've gotten better at turning infatuation  into solid friendships. You used to be so afraid of humiliation in front of  a guy, but you've  got this friend Trevor, who seems to be around at your most awkward times, you've now stopped caring. Remember when your main concern was helping others? You still do, but now are learning to help yourself too… Remember when you admired your older cousins simply because age made them appear wiser? Now you've given them reason to admire you. Remember when you were content at just going to college? You're in 4th year university. Remember everyone who said you can't do it at any point in your life? You can, you did, you will…